Continuing on from my blog post about the lack of theatre etiquette I’ve noticed, now I move on to that experience the end of the show: the stage door. I want to start off with a very recent story. For a little bit of context, I have autism, dyspraxia and chronic anxiety. This isn’t a sob story, but to help you get an idea of how I can react in certain situations.
I went to John Owen-Jones’ concert at Her Majesty’s Theatre and I went to the stage door afterwards. I pretty much bolted there straight after the concert, got the photos I wanted to sign ready and stood patiently prepared for any scenario. Security told us to form a gap to let other people leave which I did without question.
By the time John Owen-Jones came out, all rules went out the window as a mob went towards him. As someone who hates being in enclosed spaces and around sudden loud noises, that got me very nervous, especially when others had pushed in from my self proclaimed spot. I was telling the people next to me I was on the verge of a panic attack, my own way of saying “back off and tone it down.” I can only assume they thought I was in shock of seeing him because the next minute I was hyperventilating and clearly in distress, which didn’t help when ended up being pushed to the ground.
Again, this isn’t me shaming anybody or a callout piece. I understand people can be over-enthusiastic or go into fight or flight mode when see they someone they love and are eager to meet them, but when it comes at the expense of my own and other people’s safety, I need to say something. It’s both our own and other’s responsibilities to avoid taking things way too far at the stage door and this is what this post is about (don’t worry, I’m not here to name drop).
Clearly I’m not the only one who feels this way because several West End performers have also been coming forward with their own stories over not feeling safe or putting up with awful behaviour from “fans” at the stage door. Here are some other recent examples below:
Nicola Espallardo (Wicked)
Oliver Nicholas (Back To The Future)
This infamous incident from Layton Williams (Everybody’s Talking About Jamie)
And just the other day, this little gem courtesy of Stephanie McKeon (Frozen)
Trust me, I used to get upset when I didn’t meet someone who I was desperate to see when I was a teen, but I quickly accepted the stage door not an obligation or a guarantee. It is a privilege as well as an opportunity to tell the actors how much you loved them in the show they just performed in (which is why I’ll always give people who clearly didn’t see the show the actor was performing in the death glare). There have been times where I haven’t met someone even now and the very first thing I think is “That’s fine.”
Why might actors not stage door?
There are several reasons why an actor might not come out of the stage door or meet fans after a show (with examples).
- Some actors play such a physically, vocally or mentally demanding role that they’ll want to rest in the theatre before an evening show (in the case of matinees) or wait until everybody else has left to be in the right headspace – I immediately understood why David Harbour didn’t come out after Mad House because I felt like I needed a break just from watching his heartbreaking performance, let alone him!
- They have other plans with friends and family because they have lives outside of being an actor – Danny Mac telling everyone he was in a rush for a train after talking to me at Pretty Woman. Bit of context, I was the first person to talk to him and I’m the type of stage doorer (?) who’s quick as I don’t like the thought of somebody missing out their chance.
- Sometimes it’s as simple as they don’t want to because it is not an obligation on their part or in their contract to go out and meet fans for their safety – Barrett Wilbert Weed has explained why she wouldn’t do stage dooring on Instagram and I’ve seen many performers run straight to cars parked up waiting for them without complaint.
Many actors such as Carrie Hope Fletcher have outlined their boundaries to fans over what they’re comfortable with at the stage door and it’s important to respect them instead of immediately labelling them as rude or unreasonable if they don’t do what you want. Regardless if you’re their self-proclaimed number one fan or you’ve already met them on other occasions, it’s up to them what they’re comfortable with in that moment. After all, how would you feel if you were coming out of work, especially from doing such a physically demanding job as performing, and get hounded by people when you needed a break?
I Think I Got You Beat…?
I get that stage dooring is an amazing part of the theatre experience, but it doesn’t come with your ticket and unless you know them personally, you are not friends with the actors. I have met different actors more than once, but I never go in assuming they’ll remember me or that I know them (I get genuinely surprised if they do at all). This may be my more mature late-20s self talking, but I tend to distance myself from parts of the theatre community because I’ve noticed a sense of one-upmanship with people over who they’ve met, the number of times or if they’ve gone backstage as it can lead to negative comparisons and insecurity.
All I can say on this matter is enjoy your time meeting actors and don’t feel ashamed of it, but also don’t make it a competition. While you may have met someone several times, be considerate there are those who’d give anything to meet a performer and don’t have the same means as you.
Has COVID-19 changed the stage door forever?
Since theatres reopened from the COVID-19 lockdowns, many, if not all of them, had/have policies forbidding people to stage door except with close friends and family. I’ve been getting into the swing of it again over the past couple of months compared to a year ago when I didn’t even bother because while I imagined tearful reunions with performers I’ve loved (some I eventually did), I knew without question it wasn’t worth risking their health when they keep shows going that thousands pay tickets for.
While we are getting back to a form of normality, I think it’s going to be a while until we are fully embracing the stage door as before. We’re now at that point where it’s all down the individual person/venue, and the outcome of the pandemic is frankly a reasonable decision to not meet fans as health and safety come first. For example, The Seagull only allowed friends and family members to meet the cast as security explained the entire company had waited two years for it to finally open and it’s an ensemble piece where one or two people being off ill could cause a performance to be cancelled.
So how should I behave at the stage door?
I’ve been going to the stage door for a little over a decade now, so it’s safe to say I’ve sort of become a connoisseur on little tips and tricks. Here are just some of thoose tips I’ve learned through my experiences whether it’s from my first attempts from years ago or more recently.
Bring your own Sharpie! If I had a pound for the number of times I’ve had someone ask me to borrow my Sharpie, boy I’d be a rich woman. Bring a black and silver/gold one as you never know what the colour of a programme will be. After all, the worst thing you want is to get an autograph you can’t see!
PS- If you see a short dark-haired woman handing out Sharpies from a pink Ted Baker pencil case, that’s probably me!
Consent, consent, consent! It might not sound important, but asking people if they’re OK with signing an autograph and taking a photo instead of immediately assuming they’ll do one for you shows you care about their boundaries.
As for hugging, it’s also important to ask if they’re OK with it. Many will be up for it, but it’s also thoughtful to ask in case it’s something they aren’t comfortable with. Also, don’t be touchy feely because even if you have the biggest crush on an actor, they’re people at the end of the day. Trust me, it’s not funny or cute and it won’t endear them to you.
Stagey note: Never chase an actor down the street or follow them home/to their hotel. If they immediately rush in or out the stage door, just say a quick hi and leave them alone.
Get everything ready: I used to be so terrible at this, but always have any material you want signing out and get your phone camera ready. Stumbling through my bag as an actor comes out the stage door is probably my worst nightmare!
Be flexible: Some actors will have the time to chat with fans, for others it will be a quick autograph and selfie and in some cases neither whether it’s a personal choice or not being allowed. I know it’s easier said than done, but be prepared for any occasion so you’re not disappointed.
Be kind to everyone: There are several ensemble, musicians and crew members who often go unnoticed in favour of the bigger stars who appear onstage. When none of the queens came out after the Six proshot, we still cheered for the ladies in waiting, Toby Marlow and crew members leaving.
As for the people waiting alongside you, don’t shove or push in front of anyone else waiting and don’t interrupt conversations actors are having with other people, especially if it’s with their friends or family! You will get your turn, you just need to be patient.
Do what security says. If there are security guards by the stage door, do what you’re told. Don’t be that one Karen crying and complaining you’re a huge fan of James McAvoy to a guard at Cyrano de Bergerac while everybody else waits on the other side of the pavement without question.
Don’t harass anyone.
Don’t be demanding: Don’t yell at someone to come out or use the “But I met them at this” and “But this show is now doing stage dooring” cards. Each show and venue has its own rules and this line of thinking only highlights the sense of entitlement on your end. Samantha Barks was so kind when explaining the Frozen cast weren’t allowed to do selfies and autographs yet, and just getting the chance to say hi was fine for me as it had been years since I last met her.
Also, if you see any bikes carrying takeaway after a matinee show, then that probably means they won’t be coming out. It’s not really relevant to this section, but just a little tip and my own personal way of knowing when to leave!
If you can’t be arsed reading all these tips, here’s the most basic from Tom Scanlon:
Have fun! Don’t be made to feel guilty if you do go to the stage door. Stage dooring is ultimately a fun experience and people often do it out of kindness (plus I get a general sense that theatre actors are some of the nicest people you can meet). It’s not just a chance to share your love of a show with the performers, but with other people around you. You could even make some friends out of it.
Do you have any tips on how to act at the stage door? Do you have your own horror stories around there? Comment below!
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