Vardy v Rooney: The Wagatha Christie Trial

On October 9th 2019, TV personality and WAG Coleen Rooney wrote an Instagram post that set the Internet ablaze. Retelling her month’s long sting operation to catch the person selling fake stories from her private account to The Sun, Rooney revealed who she believed the culprit was after ten nail-biting dots: Rebekah Vardy. Thus, Wagatha Christie was born.

The scandal that shocked Britain for the last few years from live trial updates to a TV dramatisation, it was only a matter of time until Wagatha Christie got the theatrical treatment. Following a limited run at the Wyndham’s Theatre last year, Liv Hennesey’s adaptation that takes the court transcripts verbatim is now in the Ambassador’s Theatre for six weeks. Having originally planned to see the Woking leg of its upcoming UK tour, PR kindly managed to get me a ticket for its West End run this Saturday.

Cast

Rebekah Vardy: Lucy May Barker
Coleen Rooney: Lauren Dos Santos
QC David Sherborne: Tom Turner
QC Hugh Tomlinson: Jonnie Broadbent
Mrs. Justice Steyn: Verna Vyas
Pundit/Caroline Watt/Harpreet Robertson: Halema Hussain
Pundit/Wayne Rooney/Jamie Vardy: Nathan McMullen

Rating: ★★★★

What is Vardy v Rooney: The Wagatha Christie Trial about?

In case you’ve been living under a rock, Wagatha Christie follows the libel lawsuit Rebekah Vardy made against Coleen Rooney, the latter claiming the person controlling Vardy’s Instagram account was selling fake stories she set up to The Sun. As QC David Sherborne and QC Hugh Tomlinson make their cases to Mrs. Justice Steyn, the play questions the power of social media and its influence on celebrities.

What are my thoughts on Vardy v Rooney: The Wagatha Christie Trial?

From phones carrying important WhatsApp messages conveniently being lost in the North Sea to a resurfaced interview comparing a certain male body part belonging to Peter Andre to a chipolata, the utter ridiculousness and drama of the Wagatha Christie saga from that first Instagram post made it ideal for theatre. Instead of taking the audience to the courtroom a’la Witness for the Prosecution, adapter Liv Hennessy goes all out on the football metaphors as both WAGs duke it out on the pitch to convince Judge Steyn who the innocent party is, complete with commentators, replays and highlights. Does it work? Surprisingly yes.

Wagatha Christie indeed leans into the inherent humour of the verbatim statements and both women’s personalities clashing with the trial’s seriousness that left many laughing, myself included. However, hearing them aloud reminds us this case was about two very real people instead of the caricatured pure innocent victim/badass detective and fame hungry attention seeker clickbait articles boxed them into. While not making James Graham levels of critique, it explores the symbiotic relationship of fame, social media and the press, questioning whether celebrities are entitled to their privacy despite their exposure being crucial to their public image.

This in turn raises the ethical question of staging the show as both parties allegedly want to move on from the saga (perhaps not in Vardy’s case having recently trademarked ‘Wagatha Christie’) and it acknowledges the abuse Vardy received including one despicable comment targeting her child in a moment that made the audience gasp straight after laughing at another. While I don’t think the script does it quite enough, the show takes a moment to comment on the viewers’ voyeuristic urge to follow gossip and the schadenfreude it creates.

What are the visuals like?

What helps Wagatha Christie stand out from your usual courtroom drama is creative set design. Combining a Match of the Day recap with the prestigious English High Court, it immediately establishes the tongue in cheek version of events with astroturf flooring and Johanna Town’s lighting design being put to good use during hilarious pauses and replays. Richard Hammarton’s sound design immerses the audience with football fans hollering at the top of their lungs as both leads saunter onstage clad in pitch perfect costume recreations by Polly Sullivan. And yes, Dos Santos wears the exact same £32.99 Zara dress Rooney wore for day one of the trial.

What is the cast like?

What I found so appealing about this Wagatha Christie play was its cast, capable of adding the right balance of humour and humanity to each character. Lucy May Barker (Sweeney Todd) is simply hilarious as Rebekah Vardy, contrasting her poised and dignified demeanour during cross examination to the catty and vindictive tone in her WhatsApp messages. While making many contradicting statements and decisions that reflect poorly on her character, Barker doesn’t fully vilify her. Lauren Dos Santos also keeps her own on the stand as Coleen Rooney, imitating her Liverpudlian accent and cadence with such ease.

While both leads were a riot to watch, I must also praise the supporting players. Tom Turner and Jonnie Broadbent bring prestige as QC Timon and Sherborne respectively, while Halema Hussain and Nathan McMullen bring plenty of humour as the punters. When not recapping the unseen events, explaining the legal jargon or breaking the fourth wall, their comedic chops are put to amazing use with Hussain as Caroline Watt and Harpreet Robertson. However the standout is easily McMullen as both WAG’s unwitting husbands, with his turn as Wayne Rooney garnering some of the biggest laughs as Verna Vyas’ Justice Steyn makes exasperated expressions questioning what on earth she’s doing there.

What are my overall thoughts?

While sometimes reading as a paint by numbers recap YouTubers have condensed into thirty minutes, I found Vardy v Rooney: The Wagatha Christie Trial entertaining and oddly clever. While I don’t think it went all the way in exploring its themes, it carried many laughs thanks to its tongue-in-cheek staging and an amazing cast who lean into the humour while adding a surprising amount of humanity. If you’ve followed the seemingly never-ending drama of Wagatha Christie, then I think you’ll find some joy in this play. Just try not to heckle the performers because as much as their takes can feel like their real life counterparts, at the end of the day they’re just doing their job retelling this scandal.

Also, the person who came up with the idea to stage Wagatha Christie directly opposite The Mousetrap? You deserve a raise.

Vardy v Rooney: The Wagatha Christie Trial runs at The Ambassadors Theatre until May 20th 2023.